This is going to be a heavy and long one. So just a warning if long post bores you, you better get out fast!!!
I have a lot of friends and acquaintance that are divorced. Some are quite subtle and shy about their experience. Whenever this subject was brought up in our conversation, they tend to try to evade anything to do with their ex-partner. Some are shockingly dramatic (like watch TV series). And one actually came out okay after their annulment and later got remarried again (super rare sia).
Anyway, recently another good friend of mine is going through the long process of annulment and it seems each time a major decision was made. He hits a big wall. I will not mention too much as its his privacy but basically, he's in a dilemma now as his ex wants to cancel the whole issue about annulment and my friend is a bit emotionally attached to the whole incident.
Emotions such as anger, happiness, sadness and etc are a bane to us sometimes when we need to do something. Anger causes us to be irrational about the things we say and normally hurt the person receiving all the vocal abuse (I am very guilty of this). Happiness also causes us to relax ourselves to a point that we could be easily taken advantage of by a person with evil intentions (theft, cheat). Sadness if without good mental support may cause depressions and other mental illness.
In short, human emotions clouds our judgment and thinking process. But ITs this unique form of emotions that sets us apart from machines like computers. If we could use our mind to channel proper emotions for different purposes, I think it could be our greatest ally.
But its easier to be said then done. To me, the best way is to fell into the extremes of these emotions and get a feeling of them. Its hard to describe but actually, if one survives all these experiences. I think he would become a stronger character at the end of the day.
I was once very very angry during my secondary school days. Not sure why but angry about everything, (I still am today :P. Just that normally I keep it to myself.) I can tell you that I don't have a lot of friends during that period of time. Somehow, I managed to use this anger in me to put things into motion. I actually use this emotion on myself. In short I am constantly angry about how I perform in school, especially academically. So it was no surprised that I worked hard on my studies and in the end, turn out the top student in the whole school (I am not bluffing, can see my report card if you want :P).
How about being sad? Well, I can say the most sad feeling I had was when my father suffered from cancer and was unable to walk. Its even worst when we got the news he only have a few more months to live. I never got around to it. (even to this day). I am still trying hard to learn a way to channel this feeling into something useful but I think this is the only exceptional one from the rest of the human emotions.
I have nothing much to say when people approached me when they feel down. The best way is I listen and if I could, give some advice but most of the time, these people who seek my advice has already make up their mind about how to handle their situation. They just needed some assurance. Those who do not even want to talk about it are in danger of drifting into an endless pit.
Some say "Time will heal". We all knew that answer but the toughest to answer is "How Long???"
*This post is dedicated to my Tu Di (徒弟)