This post is in my head for quite some time but I did not have the energy to pin it down in writings. After I told my mother that my wife's status has changed, she pop the question again "So when are you moving them back to Singapore?" So I gave her my usual response (its not the first time) but I know this time it won't be easy to win the argument.
What happens usually is I would reply that I wish to go over there, but I can't, because of my wife's statelessness (so I can't apply for an 'O' visa). And I just say wait her status is changed then we discuss on this. So here we are again....
As I have a feeling I no longer could use the argument above so I just stay silent..... and she continued to grill me what I plan to do and what's wrong with Singapore.
"Too expensive for them to stay here, I can't earn enough to support them here" I replied
"I can chip in a bit and the way you fly to and fro also expensive"she countered.
"I got no house." I replied.
"Stay at my house lah" she replied "Not like I mind" she countered.
"But you and my wife would fight, and (my elder) sister may get disturbed by the kids!"
"She won't mind, she like the kids too!" mum countered "Not like you can look for a work in Thailand"
So in the end, I just say I would think about it and close off the conversation.
So after the debate. I did started to think about this option but its a no brainer. My heart is still in Thailand :) . And there are of course, various other reasons..
First, my wife can't even speak english and she can't read or write in Chinese too. So practically she can't find a decent job here in SG. If we only have girl girl then still possible but with ah boy around. It would be tough for both of us. I don't wish to depend too much on my mum in this too.
Second, girl is already 4 years old and all her friends and playmates are in Maesai, Thailand. She enjoys it there too. Its possible she might change if I bring her here too but I think it would most likely be a culture shock. The kids in SG are waaay different from the kids she knew back home. If she is younger then maybe. And she can't converse in English. She speaks mainly Thai and Chinese.
Thirdly, what would happen to our stuff and house in Thailand? Sell them off? Leave it and no one take cares of it. My wife's closest relative is her sis whom is in Hatt Yai working. Its a home to us and we just can't leave it.
There are more but I think the 3 listed above are the major ones.. So yes, I definitely would go back. But the question I can't really answer now is WHEN?
Recently due to the new car and baby, I need to work harder here to earn more money to pay off the car loan and other extra expenses that the new baby has incurred. This means I need to find a job in Thailand immediately if I were to go back now, which might be tough as I still can't read or write Thai scripts.
So most probably I will continue to work in Singapore for a few more years. I still have my dreams of opening a photo studio in Thailand but the location is important (thinking of Chiang Mai or Bangkok) and it might take some years to plan and source for resources.
I could give my answer to my mum. But I guess grandma misses the kids and want them over :P. So I am prepared to be nagged for a few more years.. huhuhu... not her problem but mine...